


Practically Obligated

by Saylee



Category: Red Dwarf
Genre: Drunk Sex, Explicit Sexual Content, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-17
Updated: 2013-05-17
Packaged: 2017-12-12 02:43:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,652
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/806239
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Saylee/pseuds/Saylee
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A drunken conversation leads to an unexpected admission and then something else altogether.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Practically Obligated

It happened because they were drunk. Marvelously, astoundingly, improbably drunk. Years alone in deep space meant that they had long-since discovered most of the secrets Red Dwarf had to offer, but every now and then they stumbled upon a lucky find. That afternoon's find had been extremely lucky, being, as it was, the Captain's private liquor stock. It was vast, and it was quality. No cheap plonk or JMC-issue Leopard Lager for Captain Hollister, it seemed.  
  
Naturally, the first order of business upon uncovering this bounty was to consume as much of it as possible, as fast as possible. They had hauled it up to the officer's club (for that added touch of class, Lister had argued), where they were joined by the Cat and Kryten, who broke out his own android homebrew and joined the party.  
  
Things got a bit raucous after that. Rimmer had spent a good chunk of the celebration sprawled on the floor after an attempt to dance had ended with him forgetting how his legs worked, and at some point in the proceedings, Kryten had unscrewed his own head. Finally, the Cat had curled up on top of the bar, and passed out, and Lister and Rimmer, his legs once again under his dubious control, had staggered back to the bunkroom, laughing and leaning heavily on each other.  
  
Rimmer collapsed bonelessly on the converted Caddy that served as a couch, but Lister detoured to the fridge to snag a can of lager. He popped the tab with a satisfying fizz as he settled into the opposite corner, stretching his legs out in front of him. He grinned at Rimmer's untidy sprawl, knowing he'd never relax like that while sober, feeling a wave of friendliness wash over him.  
  
"Y'know what, Rimsy?" he mused.  
  
"Hmm?" Rimmer slowly rolled his head to regard him properly, squinting in an attempt to focus.  
  
Lister waved his Leopard Lager in a vague salute. "I'm glad you're here, man. Real glad, like. Glad you came back."  
  
Rimmer blinked in surprise. "'M'glad too," he admitted. "Didn't suit me."  
  
Lister nodded agreeably and took a thoughtful pull on his lager. "D'you ever miss it? Bein' Ace, I mean."  
  
Rimmer studied the ceiling with the intensity of the very drunk. He pursed his lips in thought. "Parts of it."  
  
"Yeah?" Lister prodded, "Like wha'?"  
  
"The blowjobs, for one."  
  
"Oh, eh." Lister snickered. That must have been something. All those women. "I can see how ye'd miss that."  
  
But Rimmer wasn't done. "Yes. Exactly." He waved an expressive finger in Lister's general direction. "I miss sucking dick."  
  
Lister gaped at his apparently unconcerned bunkmate. No way had Rimmer just said that. Not _Rimmer_ , who couldn't even hug his own double in case it was too gay. Okay, so sometimes _Lister_ had wondered about him, but he'd never in a million years have expected Rimmer to see far enough around his own neuroses to figure it out for himself, let alone admit to it, or, _bloody hell_ , act on it.  
  
"Having a big, fat cock in my mouth," Rimmer continued with relish, and _smeg_ , had Lister's dick just twitched at that?  
  
"Let me get this straight," he said, before Rimmer could say anything else filthy or interesting. "You're telling me you went around sucking dick while you were Ace?"

"A whole mess of dick," Rimmer confirmed happily.  
  
"You?" Lister asked again. He was too drunk for this conversation. Hell, Rimmer was too drunk for this conversation, as evidenced by the fact that they were having it at all.  
  
Rimmer's fuzzy gaze sharpened momentarily. There was no need for Lister to sound so incredulous. "Well, I was practically obligated, wasn't I, Listy?"  
  
"Whu?" Lister frowned. That wasn't right. He sat forward. "How do you mean obligated?"  
  
"It's like this." Rimmer held up a wavering finger. "When Ace came here, and I saw right through him -"  
  
Lister snorted.  
  
"I saw right through him," Rimmer continued undaunted. "He was practically a gay centrefold. The man was obviously a cock smoker. So when I became Ace, I had to keep it up, or it would have been suspicious." Wasn't it obvious?  
  
"Is that so?" Lister grinned. "But you said you miss it. So what, you tried it and you liked it?"  
  
Rimmer frowned. "Well, there's no need to rub it in. So it turns out old Arnie's a giant shirtlifter. You don't need to -"  
  
"Hey, man, don't be like that," Lister soothed, before Rimmer's natural bitterness could take over. "So you liked it. What did you like?" He winced as the words left his mouth. Why had he asked that and what was the strange anticipatory feeling in his throat?  
  
What did he like about it? "Oh, I don't know." Why did Lister want to know? He closed his eyes and leaned his head back as he thought aloud. "The taste, I guess. The smell." The harder he thought about it, the more into it he got. "The feel of it. Sliding over my lips. Filling my mouth." The way he couldn't say the wrong thing with his mouth busy. He opened his eyes, breath hitching as he noticed the bulge in Lister's trousers.  
  
"Yeah?" Lister said hoarsely, pressing the heel of his hand down on his groin, because _holy smeg_ , he was hard, listening to Arnold Rimmer, of all people, rhapsodize about giving head. He realised that he was lowering the zip on his trousers. Without quite knowing what he was doing, he heard himself offer, "I've got something you could suck."  
  
What on Io? Rimmer's eyes had been glued to Lister's crotch, and flew to his face at the offer. Seeing shock and arousal there, it was all he could do to swallow a moan. His tongue darted out to moisten his lips, and he watched Lister's eyes track it's movement. _Oh hell_ , he wanted this.  
  
Lister held his breath as Rimmer slid inelegantly from the couch to kneel between his legs. The memory of that long-ago dream returned unbidden. Had he been waiting for this all that time? Looking into Rimmer's flushed, focused face, he could easily believe it. Unbearably aroused, he lifted his hips to help him shove his trousers and boxers down his thighs.  
  
"God," Rimmer breathed as Lister's erection was revealed. "I remember that thing." Back when they'd swapped bodies, he hadn't been in a place to properly appreciate Lister's monster appendage, but it had featured prominently in his filthier dreams over the years. His mouth watered.  
  
Lister shuddered as Rimmer ran his tongue up the underside of his cock. It had been way too long since he'd had anything like this. He speared his fingers into that thick curly hair as Rimmer swirled his tongue over the head before engulfing it in his warm, wet mouth. _Holy smegging hell_. He groaned. "Do that again."  
  
Rimmer didn't need the encouragement. He moaned around his mouthful, bobbing his head to take in more of that lovely, hot, hard flesh, savouring the taste of _Lister_ on his tongue. He opened his mouth wider, greedily sucking in as much as he could, until Lister's cock prodded the back of his throat, choking him just a little. God, the man was huge. He relished the slight ache in his jaw.  
  
Rimmer's mouth was driving him crazy, all hot and slick and licking and sucking and - "God, Rimmer. Arn," he corrected himself, not feeling right calling him by his last name while he had his dick halfway down his throat.  
  
When Rimmer pulled back to suck in a breath he didn't need, Lister tightened his fingers in his hair, dragging him up to meet his mouth in a deep, sloppy kiss. Rimmer whined deep in his throat as they pulled apart.  
  
"Oh fucking hell, Arn," Lister groaned, as Rimmer sank back down to take him into his mouth again. A wave of deep affection for the man suffused him, and something else. "Are you hard?" he panted, unable to stop the words tumbling out of his mouth. "Are you touching yourself?" Had Rimmer just whimpered, and how was that the hottest thing Lister had ever heard? His head hit the back of the sofa. "Go on," he ordered roughly, "Touch yourself for me."  
  
Still devouring that amazing, fascinating, delicious cock, Rimmer fumbled to shove his trousers out of the way, taking himself in hand, stroking himself to the feel of the thick flesh in his mouth. He sucked harder, raising his gaze to Lister's flushed, euphoric face. He moaned as Lister lost control, hips thrusting and fingers twining roughly in his hair, swallowing as his mouth was flooded with thick, salty fluid.  
  
"Oh smeg," Lister groaned, when Rimmer released his softening cock. "Arn -" Rimmer pressed his face into the sweat-slick skin at the join between Lister's hip and thigh, panting harshly, as he stoked himself to climax. Finally he came with a drawn-out groan, slumping forward into Lister's lap. Overcome with warmth for the man, Lister found himself stroking Rimmer's disordered curls as his breathing slowed and he came back to himself.  
  
Raising his head, Rimmer licked dry lips. Lister was gazing down at him with a strange soft expression. "Listy?" he croaked, suddenly self-conscious, his throat feeling raw. He concentrated and his holographic uniform reformed itself, tidy again. His hair was still impossibly mussed. What happened now?  
  
"Later, man." Lister smiled, seeming to read his mind, straightening his trousers before tugging him up beside him on the couch and stretching out, pulling Rimmer down into his arms. "We'll sort it out in the morning. Jes' sleep for now."  
  
Yes, Rimmer thought muzzily, sleep was good. Lister's arms were warm, and even though they'd wake up stiff and sore, right now he was surprisingly comfortable.  
  
"M'glad you came back, Arn." Lister mumbled, already half-asleep.  
  
Rimmer didn't answer aloud, but smiled quietly to himself, still pleasantly relaxed. _How could I stay away, Listy?_


End file.
